THE PHASES OF ME

You ever had a love that you knew wasn’t enough for you? One that you knew you were too big and too good for? Why is it so hard to walk away from the stuff we know doesn’t serve us? I think it’s because we fear nothing else will come. But better always comes when you decide that’s all you will accept.

This is a poem I wrote after a really hard breakup. It’s about loving, staying, and knowing when to leave. Enjoy!

Pain

Something keeps telling you will change. And become the person you were meant to be. If they knew the whole story they would call me crazy for staying. So please do everything you said you would. And mean everything you said you could. Cause I don’t want to leave because it’s easier to stay. Walking away would mean it was all a lie . . .  right? That it was never meant to be. Or maybe the end I dream of is something you’re not willing to work for? What if all I will gain is the pain of going thru the process . . .

Fear

I’m afraid of wasting another minute on believing in you and the outcome never change. I’m afraid of staying around a day longer than I should. I’m afraid of 10 years passing by and we be at the same place we are today. I am afraid that you may not love me as much as l love you. I’m afraid that my story may not include the characters I always thought it would . . .

Freedom

I think I’ll walk away now. The idea of us being what I have always dreamed of . . .. now. . . seems so far away. I loved you the wrong way, I loved you the right way, and I even did my best to love you God’s way. And still . . .no happy ending. And by happy I don’t mean perfection. I mean respect, commitment, honesty, and love. You accused me of giving up on you and us. Maybe I did. But this BROKEN love we have shared for so long is no longer enough for me. So with the broken pieces of my heart and all the bags of junk I carry - I think I’ll walk away now.