BEAUTY I GOT FROM 2020

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Like you, I’ve heard 2020 called many things. A friend of mine described it as “the great pause” and that immediately resonated with me. It’s so fitting for my experience. I needed this year. I needed this pause. Without it, I would have missed so much that needed my attention.

Some of the beauty I got from 2020:

  • Husband survived Covid-19 

  • Kids and I never contracted it

  • Faced my own patterns of self sabotage 

  • Became soul sisters with Siobhan 

  • Women Who Run With Wolves (a book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

  • My family + friends remained safe and well

  • Watched Hamilton

  • Got a promotion 

  • Managed my anxiety better

  • Started this blog

  • Traveled to Canada for 1st time

  • No 2 hour commutes to + from work

  • I Am Achie Podcast

  • Creative Quest (a book by Questlove)

  • Got a MacBook 

  • Kendall’s 1st job

  • Hugged my godson

  • Stopped living my life on auto pilot

  • Celebrated my son’s 2nd bday

  • Began to develop my voice + style as a writer 

  • Group chats with the Goddam Cheetahs

  • Attended a life-changing conference 

  • Experienced Stacey from the stage for the 1st time

  • Paid off $5000 worth of debt

  • The Meaning of Mariah Carey (MC’s memoir)

  • Worked from home for 9 months

  • Shot with Erica

  • Received a birthday card from my godfather

  • Found an amazing marriage counselor 

my most grounding discovery: My life is beautiful now. It is a honor and privilege to live and exist as the beautiful contradiction that is me. I am both unfinished and complete all at the same time. And all that is for me, whether around the corner or years ahead, is on it’s way to me and will arrive right when it should.

  • Rediscovered my dream to be a filmmaker 

  • Brown Bohemians (book by Morgan Ashley and Vanessa Coore Vernon)

  • Met Denise + experienced my 1st energy healing session 

  • Cut off all my hair

  • Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu series)

  • Went on an epic girls trip

  • Watched so many people I love unfold + become

  • The Four Agreements (book by Don Miguel Ruiz)

  • Opened 9 college acceptance letters with my daughter 

  • Began to understand my husband differently

  • Found a new Christmas classic, Jingle Jangle (film by David E. Tolbert)

  • Celebrated my 40th birthday - wrote a letter to my younger self to honor all the past versions of me

  • Enjoyed the visual menagerie of Black is King (musical film by Beyonce)

  • Extended more grace to myself

  • Dropping Gems Podcast

  • Kendall’s 2nd job

  • Started honoring my need for rest

  • The BeFree Project Podcast

  • Celebrated my 3rd wedding anniversary - my husband and I wrote a post about our marriage experience

  • Began to separate my fears from my authentic self

  • Conceptualized two movie ideas

  • Lovecraft Country (HBO series)

  • Spent more time at home with my daughter during her last year of high school

  • Developed my vision for Her Unfolding

  • Assigned a higher value to my desires + emotions

  • Season 4 of Insecure

This list is not me pretending this year wasn’t unprecedented and difficult; it indeed was. This list is not me ignoring the losses we survived; they were substantial. There was much for us to digest, process + mourn individually and collectively and it was exhausting.

This list of big and small experiences, discoveries, joys and more is about me acknowledging the duality of this year and life. 2020 was hard + beautiful. 2020 was isolating but also connecting. 2020 was noisy but offered stillness. 2020 demanded plenty but also gave so much. Life usually gives us some measure of both, the hard and the beautiful. I think part of our job here is to honor + learn from the reality of each.

Now, it’s your turn. If you had to write a list of all the beauty you got from 2020, what would it include? Share in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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WHY YOU MATTER MOST TO ME

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LETTER TO MY 25 YR OLD SELF